


Maybe one day

by TraitorXIII



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, attempted suicide, uhh, umm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-06
Updated: 2013-02-06
Packaged: 2017-11-28 11:05:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/673691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TraitorXIII/pseuds/TraitorXIII
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave Strider is tired of everything and tries to kill himself. Karkat Vantas is the one who finds him and tries to save him. Does Karkat do it in time...?!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe one day

**Author's Note:**

> omg ok ive never really written fanfiction, especially homestuck ones. so i really hope that this is good because wow im so afraid of posting this

You are Dave Strider and you're teetering on the edge. Both literally and figuratively.

See, here's the thing. Ever since your bro...passed on, you've felt so goddamn alone. And you're sick of being alone. Sure. You've got friends. Friends that care about you. Or at least you hope that they care about you. You suppose that you've got a new family. John and his dad let you move in with them when bro died and they've been your family for so long.

But you're sick of this. You're sick of the lifestyle you've chosen. You're sick of everything that's wrong with you. To the bleach-blonde hair to the red eyes that are hidden away behind aviators. You're sick of the false personality that you put up because apparently you don't want anyone to know the real you. When deep down, that's all you really want. You just want someone to be like “Cut the bullshit, Dave! Just tell me what's wrong?!!” Or well...something along those lines.

But are you ever going to get that?

No.

Why would you? You're not special enough. You're just another kid in the crowd of losers. Sure. You stick out more because of the way you look with your hair and aviators. But people always stay away from you because you look intimidating. You don't try to act like that. You really, really don't. People just always avoid you and you hate that.

Everyone always notices John because of his prankster's gambit. Everyone notices Rose for her therapudic-like personality. And everyone notices Jade because- Well, because she's Jade. And then you have the trolls. They're always noticed for their own thing. Especially Karkat. That little loud mouth never knows when it's time to shut the fuck up.

You took off your shades and wiped your eyes. Man. You're really going to miss everybody.

John the most probably. He's your best friend. The guy who took you in when you needed somewhere to go. The guy who's been with you through thick and thin. The guy you were once in love with. The guy who actually gave you your shades. The guy who you always seem the target of in his prankster's gambit. Stupid dick. Heh, yeah. You're really going to miss him.

Rose and Jade are a whole different story. Those two are so weird. You three just haven't talked as much as you used too when you were children. Especially lately. They've been avoiding you for some odd reason. You're going to miss them too.

The trolls are also a whole different story. They ruined your life ever since they came to Earth and brough their weird troll habits with them. But. You really can't say you didn't enjoy their company. They may all be big douches, but they've also always been nice to you. Well...in their own way. You've really enjoyed all of them being here. Especially Karkat, believe it or not. That little loud mouth is really great and you just, wow, you love him. You really do. But he'll never return those feelings(not that he actually knows about them, of course). Why would he know? He never really cared about you.

You leaned forward on the edge of the building. You're...not scared anymore. You've thought about it so much and you've been standing on this building so many days, for so many hours. But you have finally decided to do it. It is time that this world doesn't have Dave Strider in it anymore. Not like anyone's really gonna care that you're gone.Why would they? You suppose the only one's who would care would be John and his Dad. But maybe not. Maybe you're just thinking that they will. Maybe you're just thinking that they're going to care so you don't do it. You want every reason to stay. Every reason that you don't actually go through with this and kill yourself.

Or do you...?

It seems that you just can't make up your mind anymore.

You moved your feet a little closer to the edge. You took a step and-

Your phone went off.

Your heart started racing and you scrambled and grabbed onto the bar that was around the roof so people like you couldn't jump off of it. You let your heart slow back to it's normal pace before you pulled out your phone. Who the hell would want you now? Everyone thinks that you're at work....

CG: HEY DOUCHENOZZLE  
CG: WHERE ARE YOU?  
CG: JOHN AND I STOPPED INTO YOUR WORK AND YOU'RE NOT HERE  
CG: WHAT THE HELL STRIDER

Oh. Just the last person you wanted to have messaged you. G-god dammit...

TG: I took my break  
TG: jesus calm your tits vantas

Goddammit why did you have to check your phone?!

CG: OH.  
CG: WHERE ARE YOU I'M GOING TO COME AND MEET UP WITH YOU

You bit your lip. No. He can't come. You don't want him to be the one to find your body....

TG: does it really fucking matter where im at  
TG: goddamn cant a dude get a break from losers like you

Now you're just trying to piss him off so he'll go away and make this easier for you.

CG: OH MY GOD  
CG: WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!  
CG: JOHNS THE ONE WHO REALLY WANTED TO KNOW  
CG: JESUS SHIT STRIDER  
CG: WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU

You let out an awkward laugh. Like he really wants to know....

TG: nothing  
TG: it doesnt matter anymore  
TG: nothing does

CG: …....  
CG: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU

You hesitated. S-should you tell him where you are? You don't want him to be the one to find you. You really don't. But maybe deep down, you really do. Maybe. Just. Maybe.

TG: im  
TG: im one the roof of the building  
TG: we all used to hang out on on the weekends  
TG: yknow  
TG: before everything went to shit

You wonder if it clicked in Karkat yet. Maybe it did. Maybe it didn't. Oh god are you hoping it didn't. You don't want him to know what you're going to do.

CG: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU THERE  
CG: WE ALL PROMISED WE'D NEVER GO THERE  
CG: NOT AFTER....  
CG: WAIT A FUCKING SECOND  
CG: STRIDER  
CG: YOU  
CG: YOU'RE NOT  
CG: WAIT RIGHT THERE!!

You're crying at this point. About what? That you're not sure of. Maybe you're happy that Karkat caught on and is coming to find you. Or maybe you're crying because you hate that he is coming to find you. What if he tells someone else? What if he brings everyone with him? No. You don't want them to know that you're going to jump. They'll all...be so disappointed in you. Oh god. You should just get it over with.

But you didn't jump.

You just stood there, wondering why did you have to answer your phone. You'd be at the bottom of the building right now if you didn't answer your phone. Heh. Maybe you're wrong and you ARE scared of doing it. But why should you be? It's just a fall that will take a few seconds and then you should be smashed on the ground. Simple as that. But then why can't you do it? Why can't you find the courage to do it...?!

The door of the building opened and you heard the voice you really dreaded hearing, “STRIDER.” Oh my god how did he get here so fast...? Your job is like all the way on the other side of town and it's the afternoon, so getting a taxi would be so hard. And Karkat isn't the fastest runner. Then how-

He grabbed onto your arm, “What in the hell do you think you're doing?!” You pulled your arm away from him, “I'm doing what I should have done years ago, Vantas!!” You looked at him and gave him a sad, pathetic, broken smile. He looked like he was about to say something. But you didn't give him that chance to say something. You handed him your shades and looked at him with your red eyes.

“Keep those safe for me would you?”

Again, it looked like he was going to say something.

You let go of the railing and moved forward a little more.

“Tell everyone that I love them and that I'll miss them.”

And the next thing you knew, you were falling. Falling. The wind zipped passed your ears and you were still crying. In the distance, you could hear Karkat shouting your name. You just whispered, 'I'm sorry'.

Maybe one day, people will care. Maybe one day they'll understand why you had to go and do this to yourself. Maybe one day....

But today will not be that day.

...Right?

**Author's Note:**

> please pLEASE tell me what you thought  
> please
> 
> also i will one day edit this and make the formatting look better  
> but today is not that day


End file.
